Gifts. Gifts. Gifts. Things of value that are given, blah blah blah. I wanted some kind of intellectual way to jump into this, but nothing’s coming to mind.
I am not speaking on the aspect of gifts themselves, but I am saying is it ever a good idea NOT to accept a gift, and if so, when do u get there?
I think, mostly, these issues fall into 2 categories: gifts from people you don’t want to build with and people who give conditional gifts. This can also be combined with the urge to benefit from the gift with the loophole, which I’ll get into later. This kenetic chain of causation, preparedness, and reaction can lead to more burden than the benefit of the gift.
The first issue is the source of the gift. If you know you don’t like the person like that, you have a RESPONSIBILITY to reject the gift and let that person know. I hear from so many women that they don’t wanna hurt the man’s feelings that they allow themselves to dig deeper into the trench. From a gift giver’s point of view, your acceptance of the gift tells me that you like me enough to accept the gift, in addition to liking the gift itself. If I don’t light your fire, let me know, so I can give the gift back, get my money back, and everyone’s even.
The next curveball comes when a gift is given conditionally, with the intent to keep the person on the hook for a favor to be redeemed later. Yes, I’m sure we all know that the textbook definition of a gift is to be given WITHOUT strings attached, but realists know this is not often te case. Sure, this is a double-edged sword, but in the world ofthe emotionally competitive, things are rarely as they seem.
Then, there’s the loophole: someone accepts a gift, seeing the road signs down the street. They love the gift, and all its advantages, but when the return is expected, the loophole of “you didn’t HAVE TO give me a gift” is thrown up. Somehow, this loophole is aimed at shifting culpability to the gift giver. Had (s)he simply not given the gift, this issue would not exist. This way, the gift receiver keeps all of the gift, while getting off the hook on being required to provide any returns.
This cocky reponse may start more fires than it extinguishes, though. Some may tear into it like wet paper, while some may see the carnivorous nature of the person and cut them off. People who are known to e quick to receive and slow to give are often societally red flagged.
All thisto say watch out for the “free lunch”. Things are RARELY completely free of charge nowadays, so please take caution when a gift is offered to u. Note the source and the gift’s background.
-B